Wedding...Meh. Let Me Know When You Get Divorced!
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.
-Helen Rowland
Oh gosh. So, this past week I was getting my customary haircut by my customary barber of the last 8 years. You know, like Hov and Kells said, the power of the P-*-*-*-*, right? Anyhow, I walked in as my normal reserved self and listened to the always hilarious conversations that take place. It's pretty hilarious how guys will always be guys. We are such a simple creature. Like the always-quoted-by-me Chris Rock said, we just need "Food, sex, and silence." It's funny how the two barbers at my shop aren't much different than me and guys my age, and they are nearly twice my age.
I cannot remember the details of the conversation, but it was about the usual women or something indirectly about money, though the two are linked. I remember being 10 minutes late to my already late appointment. My mind got caught-up by something and someone and I didn't call soon enough to get a good appointment time. Even while being 10 minutes late, I still had to wait about another 10 to 15 minutes for my turn. When I am on time, I have to wait. I figured since I was late I'd be going straight to the chair. Nope, I had to wait.
After the guy before me finally finished, he was walking towards the door as I replaced him in the chair. He dropped one of the biggest bombshells of my life...
"Alright B, I'll catch you later man."
"Alright man," my barber's thunderous voice replies.
"Yeah man. I'm bout to head off to this party. One of my clients is throwing a divorce party."
"What the f***!!!" I replied while making the bitter beer face.
"Yeah man, I never been to one. Ahma see what this is all about. Alright y'all."
As he drove off in his car, which was parked in clear view right in the front of the shop, I was still in awe. A divorce party!? What in the world is going here?
I turned to my barber, "Are you serious?"
"Yeaup. I knew somebody who threw one a while back. S*** was crazy man. She had her wedding ring in one of those little coffins with the light shining on it and s***. Man!"
"Whaaat. You gotta s*****' me!"
"That s*** is crazy man," the other barber, E, says. "A shorty a while back told me about goin' to one. I was like this is some crazy s***. Ah ain't neva heard of nuttin' like that."
I couldn't believe it. I mean we live in a country where we find all sorts of reasons to celebrate. Super Bowl. Quinceaneras. Birthdays. New Years. Bah Mitzvahs. The birth of a child. Completion of college finals or midterms. Engagements. The purchase of a house. Hell, we even have after-holiday parties, such as after Thanksgiving dinner. But a divorce party?! I find that crazy.
Though I'm dumbfounded by the thought of partying after a crazy, emotionally wrecking event such as a divorce, I can't help having this feeling of curiosity. What goes into a party like this? Is it a typical party with a faint theme of "I just got divorced," which isn't on anyone's mind especially after the first couple drinks. Are there any games played, such as games to find the divorcee a new man or woman? The party my barber mentioned started as a party, then merged into an after-party freakfest. What the hell...
I get weddings. For believers, it is the the ceremonial part of the marriage with the other part being the holy marriage. For the rest of us, it a ceremonial complement of the legal marriage. That's fine. However, I have a new, and probably ephemeral, fascination with this whole divorce party thing. We have made the concept of marriage a farce is so many ways. The new husband and wife will be glorified boyfriend-girlfriend (and boyfriend-boyfriend and girlfriend-girlfriend once we can get over this ridiculous notion that prevents gays and lesbians from having a legal contract that binds them together...stupid religious conservatives...). Since the statistics support that about half of marriages will fall apart than persist until death, there will be plenty of divorces out there. Subsequently, there will be plenty of potential divorce parties to attend! While I don't wish a divorce upon any couple, unless there is a married woman that I want as my own (ha...I'm only joking...or not), when you get divorced and want to throw a divorce party, hit up ya' boy...
-Helen Rowland
I cannot remember the details of the conversation, but it was about the usual women or something indirectly about money, though the two are linked. I remember being 10 minutes late to my already late appointment. My mind got caught-up by something and someone and I didn't call soon enough to get a good appointment time. Even while being 10 minutes late, I still had to wait about another 10 to 15 minutes for my turn. When I am on time, I have to wait. I figured since I was late I'd be going straight to the chair. Nope, I had to wait.
After the guy before me finally finished, he was walking towards the door as I replaced him in the chair. He dropped one of the biggest bombshells of my life...
"Alright B, I'll catch you later man."
"Alright man," my barber's thunderous voice replies.
"Yeah man. I'm bout to head off to this party. One of my clients is throwing a divorce party."
"What the f***!!!" I replied while making the bitter beer face.
"Yeah man, I never been to one. Ahma see what this is all about. Alright y'all."
As he drove off in his car, which was parked in clear view right in the front of the shop, I was still in awe. A divorce party!? What in the world is going here?
I turned to my barber, "Are you serious?"
"Yeaup. I knew somebody who threw one a while back. S*** was crazy man. She had her wedding ring in one of those little coffins with the light shining on it and s***. Man!"
"Whaaat. You gotta s*****' me!"
"That s*** is crazy man," the other barber, E, says. "A shorty a while back told me about goin' to one. I was like this is some crazy s***. Ah ain't neva heard of nuttin' like that."
I couldn't believe it. I mean we live in a country where we find all sorts of reasons to celebrate. Super Bowl. Quinceaneras. Birthdays. New Years. Bah Mitzvahs. The birth of a child. Completion of college finals or midterms. Engagements. The purchase of a house. Hell, we even have after-holiday parties, such as after Thanksgiving dinner. But a divorce party?! I find that crazy.
Though I'm dumbfounded by the thought of partying after a crazy, emotionally wrecking event such as a divorce, I can't help having this feeling of curiosity. What goes into a party like this? Is it a typical party with a faint theme of "I just got divorced," which isn't on anyone's mind especially after the first couple drinks. Are there any games played, such as games to find the divorcee a new man or woman? The party my barber mentioned started as a party, then merged into an after-party freakfest. What the hell...
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