A Day in the Life of ChrisDickson: The Chair
The Facebook Migration Series, Volume XI
Originally written February 1, 2010
Just for fun, I started creating several notes about things that have been in my mind at some point in time. Some topics have been more serious than other, but they were all done in fun, though it did require some very deep thought at times. So far, I can honestly say "The Kobe Bryant Manifesto" was the funnest topic yet since I finally took a whack at Kobe haters with actual facts and logic. Even for that topic, it still required lots of explanation and deep thought. Here in this note, I will change the tone. This is the beginning of a series that may (or not) pop up at times. This is away of peering into the world of Christopher Dickson II that is his mind. Though some will think of me as, perhaps, astute or cogent, you will get to see the side that will make you say, "this fool is crazy" (I'm hoping that crazy means crazy in a funny way). This first note should be fun, hopefully.
So, I was in the process of moving. I really hate moving, especially when you are moving to or from anything above the 1st floor of a building. So, to move most of my larger things, I rented a U-Haul truck. I do not have that much experience moving myself. Anyhow, I hit the road with my bed, mattress, box spring, dresser, tv, chair, and computer desk inside the truck. I was waiting at one of those left hand turn lights that seemingly takes 45 minutes to finally give you the turn arrow. And don't you hate those ones that make you wait till the other side gets to turn and go straight while you have to wait? I hate those. I should be turning left just like those other fools on the other side. Whatever. Anyway, I proceeded to turn left when the arrow showed its hue of blue and yellow mixture.
As I turned left, I heard a loud thud. Keep that in mind.
After the left turn, I proceeded straight until I reached the next light. As I came to a stop, I casually glanced to the left, for I was in the middle of three lanes. There was a nice looking specimen of a woman. I turned my head to look over and down at her to get a good look at her. She was tight! So, naturally, I proceeded to get my "Red Light Mac" on. You know, when you catch someone attractive at a stop light and give them the "ooo wassup" look. I was feeling good too. So good that I allowed myself to listen to that wack ass music that plays mostly on the radio stations (also the U-Haul had no CD player; hell, it didn't even have a tape player, what kind of shit is that in this day and age? Thats like making a flat screen plasma tv, but it only shows in black and white.) So I proceeded with the Red Light Macin' when all of a sudden I hear horns going off crazily as if it were a fire at a smoke detector factory. Naturally, I said, "what the hell is going on," to myself. I abruptly took my eyes of the beautiful driver next to me to look in those less than ideal side mirrors on the U-Haul truck.
My eyes squinted as I peered through the driver side mirror. What do I see about 150 yards down the street? My damn computer chair! "Oh shit!" I exclaimed. There it was, my chair laid out in the middle of the street. As I was at the red light, all kinds of people were pulling up to the U-Haul yelling "hey man, your chair!" as if it was one of those lame-ass Chevy commercials when GM apparently got excited about making cars where the headlights stay on during the day."Hey, your light are on!" Really? Who gives a shit about cars that have headlights that stay on during the day? Do you brag about your GPS? Your 24'' tires? Your stereo system? Your windshield wipers that automatically come on at the appropriate intensity when it rains (that is tight!)? No, you brag about how your damn car's headlights stay on during the day? That's just sad. Anyhow, the light was still red and the woman was looking at me the whole time. I forgot about her once I got out the car. I'm a huge fan of *****, but not all is worth getting smacked by a car for (there are a few out there that are worth it!). So I scurried back to the back of the U-Haul to find that the back door was wide the f**k open! And my LCD tv was at the edge getting ready to fall out too! Oh my goodness. So, a man happened to be crossing the street, and grabbed the chair out of the street. He also happened to be coming my way and nicely carried the chair to me. When I was putting the chair back, everyone passing was blowing and staring at me. I was even struggling to put the latch on correctly to prevent the back door from sliding open again. Apparently, I did not put the latch under the back ledge of the truck. I thought it was secure but I figured out I was wrong when my chair cursed me out upon its return to the truck.
As I was putting the chair back and securing the door, I was soooooo embarrassed. People have always associated me with being this pristine, infallible figure. Even growing up as a teenager, some of my peers, people even older than me, would address me as "Mr. Dickson." What the hell is that? I was not much different than them, I just get serious when it's time to be serious, that's all. So, being embarrassed is something that I do not get to experience very often, partly due to me not believing in being embarrassed about things that are not in my control. However, I found myself in a continuous roaring laughter throughout the whole experience and long thereafter. As weird as it may sound, I found that I like being embarrassed. There is something very fun about being embarrassed, just like Jim Carey actually likes being scared as in people jumping out of bushes to scare him. Embarrassing is fun!...
Originally written February 1, 2010
So, I was in the process of moving. I really hate moving, especially when you are moving to or from anything above the 1st floor of a building. So, to move most of my larger things, I rented a U-Haul truck. I do not have that much experience moving myself. Anyhow, I hit the road with my bed, mattress, box spring, dresser, tv, chair, and computer desk inside the truck. I was waiting at one of those left hand turn lights that seemingly takes 45 minutes to finally give you the turn arrow. And don't you hate those ones that make you wait till the other side gets to turn and go straight while you have to wait? I hate those. I should be turning left just like those other fools on the other side. Whatever. Anyway, I proceeded to turn left when the arrow showed its hue of blue and yellow mixture.
As I turned left, I heard a loud thud. Keep that in mind.
After the left turn, I proceeded straight until I reached the next light. As I came to a stop, I casually glanced to the left, for I was in the middle of three lanes. There was a nice looking specimen of a woman. I turned my head to look over and down at her to get a good look at her. She was tight! So, naturally, I proceeded to get my "Red Light Mac" on. You know, when you catch someone attractive at a stop light and give them the "ooo wassup" look. I was feeling good too. So good that I allowed myself to listen to that wack ass music that plays mostly on the radio stations (also the U-Haul had no CD player; hell, it didn't even have a tape player, what kind of shit is that in this day and age? Thats like making a flat screen plasma tv, but it only shows in black and white.) So I proceeded with the Red Light Macin' when all of a sudden I hear horns going off crazily as if it were a fire at a smoke detector factory. Naturally, I said, "what the hell is going on," to myself. I abruptly took my eyes of the beautiful driver next to me to look in those less than ideal side mirrors on the U-Haul truck.
My eyes squinted as I peered through the driver side mirror. What do I see about 150 yards down the street? My damn computer chair! "Oh shit!" I exclaimed. There it was, my chair laid out in the middle of the street. As I was at the red light, all kinds of people were pulling up to the U-Haul yelling "hey man, your chair!" as if it was one of those lame-ass Chevy commercials when GM apparently got excited about making cars where the headlights stay on during the day."Hey, your light are on!" Really? Who gives a shit about cars that have headlights that stay on during the day? Do you brag about your GPS? Your 24'' tires? Your stereo system? Your windshield wipers that automatically come on at the appropriate intensity when it rains (that is tight!)? No, you brag about how your damn car's headlights stay on during the day? That's just sad. Anyhow, the light was still red and the woman was looking at me the whole time. I forgot about her once I got out the car. I'm a huge fan of *****, but not all is worth getting smacked by a car for (there are a few out there that are worth it!). So I scurried back to the back of the U-Haul to find that the back door was wide the f**k open! And my LCD tv was at the edge getting ready to fall out too! Oh my goodness. So, a man happened to be crossing the street, and grabbed the chair out of the street. He also happened to be coming my way and nicely carried the chair to me. When I was putting the chair back, everyone passing was blowing and staring at me. I was even struggling to put the latch on correctly to prevent the back door from sliding open again. Apparently, I did not put the latch under the back ledge of the truck. I thought it was secure but I figured out I was wrong when my chair cursed me out upon its return to the truck.
As I was putting the chair back and securing the door, I was soooooo embarrassed. People have always associated me with being this pristine, infallible figure. Even growing up as a teenager, some of my peers, people even older than me, would address me as "Mr. Dickson." What the hell is that? I was not much different than them, I just get serious when it's time to be serious, that's all. So, being embarrassed is something that I do not get to experience very often, partly due to me not believing in being embarrassed about things that are not in my control. However, I found myself in a continuous roaring laughter throughout the whole experience and long thereafter. As weird as it may sound, I found that I like being embarrassed. There is something very fun about being embarrassed, just like Jim Carey actually likes being scared as in people jumping out of bushes to scare him. Embarrassing is fun!...
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