A Day in the Life of ChrisDickson: Chris is not into Black Women?...

The Facebook Migration Series, Volume III

Originally written October 17, 2010

Sometime circa 2010CE, I was having a drink with a young woman, Maxine. We were talking about all sorts of things while enjoying our drinks. As the conversation headed towards its end, she uttered something that I have heard [merely] three or four times in my life from black women. I will call out my two family members, Yolanda Johnson and Tashana Henderson (no Facebook account), for being the first to tell me this when I was 18 and 19 years old when they told me "I can see you getting with a white girl" (LOL). 

"I can tell," Maxine starts. "You are not really into black women." (don't remember the exact words, so I'm paraphrasing).

As soon as she said that, I was so internally angry and shocked. However, I did not want to offset the mood of the experience by creating an argumentative or tense mood. Rather than confronting her, I responded with a joke in disguise. 

"Ha. That's interesting. It's just that black women are not into me. I guess I don't have this sorta 'swag' that they are looking for *haha*." (I will revisit my statement and how it is a joke in disguise.)

Of any women that has ever told me this, this was the most upsetting to me. I let it go at the time, realizing it's really nothing to be to angered by. However, this was the final drop that eventually broke the dam, hence this note. 

Let me tell you. For Maxine, Yolanda, and Tashana (and the others that believe this, but never told me), you are embarrasingly wrong on so many levels. It could not be any further from the truth. I am going to go over why this is such nonsense, especially to Maxine, the latest women who told me this. 

1. For Maxine, the most recent women that has told me this, I was [totally] into her, AND SHE IS BLACK! Now I would let her off the hook if she didn't know that I was into her, but she knew damn well I was. She knew exactly why we met up to have a drink together and could see and hear all the implicit and explicit signals. And she acknowledged that she noticed them. With that being said, say what I have typed below out loud:

Chris takes some of his time, time in which he could be putting to serious use with prepping for school, getting a new place, helping his brother, prepping for his second job, among other things, to meet with this BLACK WOMAN after a long work day in depressing cool, cloudy weather all because Chris is not into black women!

And there is so much more to this story, but it is irrelevant and, really, none of anybody's business (lol). 

The fact that Maxine is black is only the first ironic thing. The other irony occurs as to just who Maxine is. Now I don't mean to cite these ironies in a cynical way, but rather more in a comedic-funny way. Maxine as a black woman is funny. She questions one aspect of my blackness (the part of my blackness that says black women are beautiful and desirable) when she is high yellow. If you were to talk to her on the phone, you might get the impression that she may be a white woman from her voice. Her hair is not very kinky either. If you were to look at her from a certain angle, you may think she was mixed with some sort of east Asian heritage. She went to school in predominantly white neighborhoods growing up. And she wants to question any part of my blackness!? *Laughing* Like I said, I am saying this in a funny-ironic way and in no way am I suggesting that blackness has anything to do with the things that I just mentioned about her or me. 

2. To further show how ridiculous the statement "Chris is not into black women" is, just look into the history of all the women he has ever liked since he was in elementary school (the term "like" is a very broad category that covers all things possible with a women). They have all been black women with two being mixed with white. You will never know exactly who they are, but there are about ten of my female Facebook "friends" that I have either had a crush on while in elementary school, been interested, or even talked to (again you'll never know...the suspense is killing you right now isn't it...lol). And low and behold! They are all black women (*shaking my head* at Maxine, YoYo, and Granny, lol)! This leads to my next point...

3. I was not even remotely attracted to a non-black woman until I was about 21 or 22 years old. When growing up, all I was surrounded by was black women. There were also many hispanic women, but I really didn't hang around many hispanic women growing up. There were only occasional token non-black/hispanic women that I associated with until after I left Hampton. And all of those were platonic. Thus, my foundation in the way I feel about women in general is built on black women. With that being said, I went wild for a Colombian girl. She was several years older, but I didn't care. My goodness she was beautiful, and that sexy Colombian accent was killer. By the way, are all Colombian women just ridiculously sexy? I have yet to see a Colombian Slumpbuster (if you don't know what a Slumpbuster is, see this link, read what it is, then pause and start laughing before you continue reading this note - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slumpbuster) (Also Google Sofia Vergara...ouch is all I can say...oh and "Modern Family" is hilarious). Colombia has to rank pretty high in the world in most beautiful women per capita.

...

Growing up, one my closest friends laughed when I told him that I was told that I'm not into black women. With him probably knowing the most about me (it's funny, but your closest friend(s) probably know more about you than your parents. Your parents do not knoweverything about you ;-) ), he shook his head and told me that it was hard for him to even see me considering a non-black woman. Just this very morning before I was going to release this note, one of my friends I don't get to talk to often texted me these exact words:

"Lol! Cali girls are hot! They have better bodies too since there are beaches. If give them a reason to get half naked. There's a lot more outdoor activit/y in Cali. So you still mess with black women only?..."

This note was finished, but I had to go back and include his text to further prove my point. He knew me right after I got out of high school and knew that I never had any encounter of any sort with a non-black woman.

When I am told I'm not into black women, it is also implicitly suggesting that I'm the type that prefers to date mostly or exclusively white women. One. That's all. That does not represent the number I have been in a relationship with. Not the number I have dated. No. That is the number of white women that I have been remotely attracted to. Just one, and nothing came of it because she is married. When I was young [and ignorant, LOL], I even scoffed at white girls in terms of mate selection because they were so very different from black women to me. I, of course, became more tolerant and knowledgeable, so my mentality is different today. Like I said in a previous note, good and bad women come in all colors. I now just pursue the best women for me regardless of color, though I pray to Aphrodite that she is a black woman (LOL). 

The thing that I don't get is what gives black women the impression that I'm not into black women? Do I lack this "swag" that black men have (the joke is being revisited)? Is it because I don't drive a Monte Carlo? Is it because I don't refer to other brothas as "nigga" or "ma nig?" Is it because I like wearing non-flamboyant clothing that fits me nicely? Is it because I don't brag about how many "'bitches' I bagged?" Or how I don't brag about how I mistreat women (and I don't mistreat them to begin with)? Is it because I will be a scientist? Is it because I don't wear earrings or any kind of jewelry that were meant for women anyway? Is it because I'm humble and reserved rather than loud and "swagadotious" (a word I heard my girl Kristan use...lol)? Is it because I don't give a shit about rims or tires? Is it because I don't care too much for the nightlife? Is it because I put myself in situations in which I'm cool with people of so many different races and backgrounds? Is it because my music library consists more than just R&B and Rap? Is it because I don't watch BET which isn't even black owned anyway? Is it because I was...um...slightly attracted to ONE white women out of over 20 women that I have liked or been attracted to or? I went to f***in' Hampton University for crying out loud! Go ask any dude from Hampton about all the [black] women there. When I am told this, I get so embarrassed for the woman because she is sooooo far off base and it somehow suggests that I may either be not good enough for black women or that I think that I am above them or something, which are both equally absurd. Also, most black women will tell me how great they think I am, but by saying that I wouldn't be into black women angers me. So what? A black women would not be worthy of someone that you hold with such high esteem? Nonsense!

Here is a short summary of what I LOVE about black women. I am not the one to over do it by saying black women make the world go around or how they are Nubian Queens and Princesses and all that non-sense. They are women no better or worse than all women that exist or have existed in this world. Yes they have gone through real hardship in this country, but take a look at what women in some of these crazy places, such as Afghanistan or Iran where a teenage girl is stoned to death for having committing "adultery" *heartbroken right now just thinking about it*, have to go through in the present day. However, some black women are worthy of Queen level (well probably just a few...lol) while some are just merely some local trick. But most are somewhere between great and garbage (lol). 

*My Heart: I grew up surrounded exclusively by black women. They raised me. That is what I love. Of course I love black women. All of my early experiences with girls were with black girls. In reality, it is all that I know while I'm learning about other types of women finally. I have also given [basically] several love letters to the black women community here on FB in several notes. Not to mention what black women had to endure (and I'm not ignoring the black men) ever since black women were brought to the Americas and Carribbean. Black women will always be my number one...

*An Unmistakable Swagger: I have no idea what it is in black women, but it gets me. With most of them, there is this sort of je ne sais quoi about them. It is most likely that I just grew up with them, so I am connect to them on a deeper level. But lots of black women have this sort of attitude about them. It is not necessarily a "bad attitude" as my boy LL would say. And it's not really that "I'm a black women thus I am the shit over all things in the universe" attitude either. Whatever it is, it's nice...

*Like Any Typical Black Man...: I love the ass! The ass is provided in abundance by black women. The onion, apple, the ones you can see form the front, the firm ones, the jiggly ones (I prefer the ones that are not really firm but not really super jiggly), the ones that cause women to walk with that subtle wobble, the petite round ones, you name it. From a physical standpoint, I have always been attracted to black women and their oh-so-great lower bodies. Their thighs, hips, and ass drives me crazy. If we go back to the Colombian girl, the first non-black women I ever liked, she had many features that reminded me of black women anyway, from her full lips to her ridiculously curvaceous body. When I see a white woman with "wagon," I laugh and tell myself "where did she get that from?"

I guess I just revealed that I am really no better than many of the black men out there (lol). Oh well. It's just that I live life being me how I see fit. I just do not go along with what everyone else does or is like just for the sake of being in the "in"-crowd. To you black women, I love you to death. Remember that. I may not appear to be like most that you see, sound like them, or do as they do, but that has no impact on how I feel about you all. 

In closing, I shall reword a line of [arguably, though no question to me] the greatest lyricist of all-time. When black women say he's not into black girls, black women, and black hoes/I tell 'em, 'I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?'...