On Interracial Mate Selection: Part I
The Facebook Migration Series, Volume VII
Originally written November 8, 2009
It has been a while since I have committed the act of putting my thoughts about life in a Facebook Note. I guess it has been over a month. Lately, I have been swamped with working full-time while tutoring kids Wilmington and Koreatown, Los Angeles 4 nights a week. As if I take joy in being swamped, I have added another task of preparing graduate school applications, which is a process in itself. Anyhow, I have managed to find some time to create this note as a way of relaxing. I know what your asking. "How in the hell does this guy get relaxation out of writing as if he is submitting a term paper?" The answer to that hypothetical rhetorical question that the topics I have discussed are fun, and pertinent to everyday life, unlike doing a five page paper on some Matisse painting. Anyhow, I feel I need to talk about something, and I have lots of topics in store, but I could not figure out what I wanted to talk about. This is when I stumbled upon an unsuspecting muse who told me to touch the topic of interracial mate selection. This means two couples are actually in some kind of romantic or dating relationship or married (and all the other categories that would cover same sex couples). Although times are getting better when it comes to interracial relationships, there are still negative sentiments about them with many people, even if they do not want to admit it. In this first part, I will discuss the beginnings of interracial dating, contemporary view of interracial dating, and what it means be in an interracial relationship from the perspective of the United States.
As one who actually cares about history, I am fully aware of how this country started. Once Europeans (whites) took over the Americas from the indigenous peoples, it became a land that was white. Whites called the shots, owned most of the land, held the most rights, held the highest status, and pretty much did whatever they wanted. This, of course, came at the expense of any blacks, reds, browns, and yellows being treated like actual humans in most cases. This is also a time of the genesis of interracial mating. Despite whites reminding everyone of their superior status to the remaining "savage-like" peoples of non-white lineage, they found a way indulge in all of those "inferior" women, hence the "mulatto" (high yellow if we are being facetious). White men found a way to keep the remaining colored peoples down in an inferior position while lowering themselves by mating with colored women. Thus, they were disproving their own thoughts and belief system by doing something so personal as to have sex with these women. Where it gets ironic is that most of these whites brought Christianity with them. In the Bible, it does say that having sex makes the two people become one flesh. This is impossible right? How could a white man be equal to these savage colored women? The answer is easy and two part. For one, whites and non-whites are not divided by any line of superiority. They are all part of the human race. Second, those colored obviously had something to offer that was not found in the white women they had. Again, all are equal, but that equality is manifest, sometimes, in different ways; thus, those white men wanted something in those non-white women that they could not find in white women.
Time went on of course, hence we are here in existence now. Society has slowly began to beat down the taboo of dating outside the race. However, the "keep it within our people" mentality still exists. This is far more common for the older generations. I do not think we all should be too hard on those from older generations that have a hard time dealing with interracial relationships. We should remember that the older generation did grow up in a different era. This era was not as tolerant of interracial anything, much less interracial mating. They were programmed by society with the mindset of having angst when asked to trust any other group, especially white vs non-white, more notably black versus white. Imagine if someone came up to you, if you are part of the more tolerant generation, and asked you to not tolerate interracial dating at all. That would be very difficult for you, because you have been programmed by your upbring to be more tolerant. That is what the older generations are up against. While I admit it can be very frustrating when dealing with those from older generations that are not as tolerant, I do understand they grew up in a different time. For example, I could never understand why my late grandmother HATED The University of Southern California institution as a whole. She was not like those at UCLA in the present time that just hate on USC, but she really hated the institution on a personal level. It may be hard to believe, but what we call South Central Los Angeles (it's still South Central to me despite the whole movement to call it "South LA") was not always almost exclusively minority. When she was younger, she always told me stories of how South Central was racist is some parts. She told me about how she used to walk near the USC campus, and had to deal with racist, well-to-do white college students heckling her. She did not attend the school, and was just innocently passing by when they would yell out horrible, vulgar racist comments at her. For a while, I could not understand her resentment since USC has moved away from that mentality during my time. But, it was the power of her upbringing, which included USC as a racist institution.
For the record, my grandmother could careless about interracial mating because her grandmother was white anyhow. We do not have to go far back to see white people filling up our family tree. Thus, we grew up free of worrying about what our family would say if any one of us brought home a non-black mate.
Moving on to society, it is very apparent how interracial mating matters to a lot of people. There are many examples of this. The first example that comes to mind is the black community's dismay over Halle Berry's performance in "Monster's Ball." Berry won an Oscar for Best Actress for this role. The black community cried foul, because they claimed that she had to do a very explicit sex scene with white actor Billy Bob Thornton. I have to admit that the scene if very shocking on the second viewing. The first time I viewed it, I was more drawn to a naked Halle Berry. I apparently put sexuality above something as culturally significant as that. I am a young heterosexual male, what do you want from me? Anyhow, the second viewing was shocking, nonetheless. I did not know what to think about it, really. Could she have won without the sex scene? I am not sure anyone really knows that did not partake in the voting process. I did feel some kind of apprehension while the black community got on Berry for her role. If we are going to ask for more tolerance towards us, we have to be willing practice that same tolerance. If we as black people get outraged at the site of a black woman mating with a white man, we are justifying the whites' treatment of blacks, because we are doing the same thing as them. I get how whites have historically treated colored women in the past. At the same time, I realize that many whites today are good people, and had nothing to do with how non-white people were treated by whites in the past. So, we cannot react and punish whites in the present for something that they did not do. It would be like whites saying that we should go back to being inferior because our predecessors had that status.
Another sad example came in college football. Now, probably only a few people know the absolute truth about this, but it would not surprise me if it is true. A couple of years ago, the football team at Auburn University finished the season in a downward spiral. They were pretty awful, given that they were a solid program that recently had an undefeated season. Their head coach, Tommy Tuberville, was fired. Since Auburn thinks they are better than what they really are, they wanted to hire a new coach that would take them to the next level. They just did not realize Tuberville had actually maximized the potential of that program. So, they went on their search for a new coach.
There exists an obscure division 1 or Football Bowl Subdivision football team, Buffalo (New York) University. They were an awful program for many years until a rare black head football coach, Turner Gill, took over the program. Basically overnight, he took the program to their first every conference championship by winning the Mid-American Conference Championship. He was on fire in the media. His name was brought up for many jobs around the nation. Unfortunately for him, football east of the Mississippi is part of the infamous "Good 'Ole Boy" network. His name came up for Auburn's football head coach position. We all thought he would get it, but it eventually went to a lackluster white coach named Gene Chizik. Chizik was the coach at Iowa State, who was absolutely terrible. They did not do much of anything while Gills Buffalo team won a championship. The argument was that Chizik had more recruiting ties to the south because he was a former assistant coach in the South. This was nonsense. Florida coach Urban Meyer came from Notre Dame, Bowling Green (Ohio), and Utah, and he gets the Florida job. Where are Urban Meyer's South recruiting ties? Anyhow, stories started to come out about how Turner Gill was probably denied the job as a result of him having a white wife. By the way, Auburn is in Alabama. These football instituions are heavily funded by boosters, rich alumni zealots that pour money into a program to see it do well. These benefactors have a huge say in things, although they are not school officials. The rumors about Gill not getting the job because of his white wife were said to come from these boosters and not necessarily the school. I disagree. The school is just as responsible if this is true. Instead, they chose money over morality. They could have stood up and said no, Gill is the best candidate, and thats it. They did not. An interracial marriage possibly got in the way social upward mobility, since the Southeastern Conference has only had 1, I repeat, 1, black head coach in its near 80 year history. College football is deprived of black head football coaches despite the high number of black players.
If we are all human, and we are all Americans, what is the problem with choosing a mate that is of another race or nationality? I guess people have their reasons as to why people should only mate in their own race. There are many reasons why I think people believe this, but are they justified? There is also a very tantalizing theory out there that explains the reasons for racism, and subsequently the rejection of whites mating with other non-whites. Do people have something really to fear when it comes to interracial mating?
To be continued...
Originally written November 8, 2009
As one who actually cares about history, I am fully aware of how this country started. Once Europeans (whites) took over the Americas from the indigenous peoples, it became a land that was white. Whites called the shots, owned most of the land, held the most rights, held the highest status, and pretty much did whatever they wanted. This, of course, came at the expense of any blacks, reds, browns, and yellows being treated like actual humans in most cases. This is also a time of the genesis of interracial mating. Despite whites reminding everyone of their superior status to the remaining "savage-like" peoples of non-white lineage, they found a way indulge in all of those "inferior" women, hence the "mulatto" (high yellow if we are being facetious). White men found a way to keep the remaining colored peoples down in an inferior position while lowering themselves by mating with colored women. Thus, they were disproving their own thoughts and belief system by doing something so personal as to have sex with these women. Where it gets ironic is that most of these whites brought Christianity with them. In the Bible, it does say that having sex makes the two people become one flesh. This is impossible right? How could a white man be equal to these savage colored women? The answer is easy and two part. For one, whites and non-whites are not divided by any line of superiority. They are all part of the human race. Second, those colored obviously had something to offer that was not found in the white women they had. Again, all are equal, but that equality is manifest, sometimes, in different ways; thus, those white men wanted something in those non-white women that they could not find in white women.
Time went on of course, hence we are here in existence now. Society has slowly began to beat down the taboo of dating outside the race. However, the "keep it within our people" mentality still exists. This is far more common for the older generations. I do not think we all should be too hard on those from older generations that have a hard time dealing with interracial relationships. We should remember that the older generation did grow up in a different era. This era was not as tolerant of interracial anything, much less interracial mating. They were programmed by society with the mindset of having angst when asked to trust any other group, especially white vs non-white, more notably black versus white. Imagine if someone came up to you, if you are part of the more tolerant generation, and asked you to not tolerate interracial dating at all. That would be very difficult for you, because you have been programmed by your upbring to be more tolerant. That is what the older generations are up against. While I admit it can be very frustrating when dealing with those from older generations that are not as tolerant, I do understand they grew up in a different time. For example, I could never understand why my late grandmother HATED The University of Southern California institution as a whole. She was not like those at UCLA in the present time that just hate on USC, but she really hated the institution on a personal level. It may be hard to believe, but what we call South Central Los Angeles (it's still South Central to me despite the whole movement to call it "South LA") was not always almost exclusively minority. When she was younger, she always told me stories of how South Central was racist is some parts. She told me about how she used to walk near the USC campus, and had to deal with racist, well-to-do white college students heckling her. She did not attend the school, and was just innocently passing by when they would yell out horrible, vulgar racist comments at her. For a while, I could not understand her resentment since USC has moved away from that mentality during my time. But, it was the power of her upbringing, which included USC as a racist institution.
For the record, my grandmother could careless about interracial mating because her grandmother was white anyhow. We do not have to go far back to see white people filling up our family tree. Thus, we grew up free of worrying about what our family would say if any one of us brought home a non-black mate.
Moving on to society, it is very apparent how interracial mating matters to a lot of people. There are many examples of this. The first example that comes to mind is the black community's dismay over Halle Berry's performance in "Monster's Ball." Berry won an Oscar for Best Actress for this role. The black community cried foul, because they claimed that she had to do a very explicit sex scene with white actor Billy Bob Thornton. I have to admit that the scene if very shocking on the second viewing. The first time I viewed it, I was more drawn to a naked Halle Berry. I apparently put sexuality above something as culturally significant as that. I am a young heterosexual male, what do you want from me? Anyhow, the second viewing was shocking, nonetheless. I did not know what to think about it, really. Could she have won without the sex scene? I am not sure anyone really knows that did not partake in the voting process. I did feel some kind of apprehension while the black community got on Berry for her role. If we are going to ask for more tolerance towards us, we have to be willing practice that same tolerance. If we as black people get outraged at the site of a black woman mating with a white man, we are justifying the whites' treatment of blacks, because we are doing the same thing as them. I get how whites have historically treated colored women in the past. At the same time, I realize that many whites today are good people, and had nothing to do with how non-white people were treated by whites in the past. So, we cannot react and punish whites in the present for something that they did not do. It would be like whites saying that we should go back to being inferior because our predecessors had that status.
Another sad example came in college football. Now, probably only a few people know the absolute truth about this, but it would not surprise me if it is true. A couple of years ago, the football team at Auburn University finished the season in a downward spiral. They were pretty awful, given that they were a solid program that recently had an undefeated season. Their head coach, Tommy Tuberville, was fired. Since Auburn thinks they are better than what they really are, they wanted to hire a new coach that would take them to the next level. They just did not realize Tuberville had actually maximized the potential of that program. So, they went on their search for a new coach.
There exists an obscure division 1 or Football Bowl Subdivision football team, Buffalo (New York) University. They were an awful program for many years until a rare black head football coach, Turner Gill, took over the program. Basically overnight, he took the program to their first every conference championship by winning the Mid-American Conference Championship. He was on fire in the media. His name was brought up for many jobs around the nation. Unfortunately for him, football east of the Mississippi is part of the infamous "Good 'Ole Boy" network. His name came up for Auburn's football head coach position. We all thought he would get it, but it eventually went to a lackluster white coach named Gene Chizik. Chizik was the coach at Iowa State, who was absolutely terrible. They did not do much of anything while Gills Buffalo team won a championship. The argument was that Chizik had more recruiting ties to the south because he was a former assistant coach in the South. This was nonsense. Florida coach Urban Meyer came from Notre Dame, Bowling Green (Ohio), and Utah, and he gets the Florida job. Where are Urban Meyer's South recruiting ties? Anyhow, stories started to come out about how Turner Gill was probably denied the job as a result of him having a white wife. By the way, Auburn is in Alabama. These football instituions are heavily funded by boosters, rich alumni zealots that pour money into a program to see it do well. These benefactors have a huge say in things, although they are not school officials. The rumors about Gill not getting the job because of his white wife were said to come from these boosters and not necessarily the school. I disagree. The school is just as responsible if this is true. Instead, they chose money over morality. They could have stood up and said no, Gill is the best candidate, and thats it. They did not. An interracial marriage possibly got in the way social upward mobility, since the Southeastern Conference has only had 1, I repeat, 1, black head coach in its near 80 year history. College football is deprived of black head football coaches despite the high number of black players.
If we are all human, and we are all Americans, what is the problem with choosing a mate that is of another race or nationality? I guess people have their reasons as to why people should only mate in their own race. There are many reasons why I think people believe this, but are they justified? There is also a very tantalizing theory out there that explains the reasons for racism, and subsequently the rejection of whites mating with other non-whites. Do people have something really to fear when it comes to interracial mating?
To be continued...
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