Why Should I Ever Get Married (Part II)
The Facebook Migration Series, Volume II
Originally written July 17, 2009
In part I of my, what some may call, diatribe, I discussed my parents' "psudomarriage." My point is that they were able to achieve many of the things that could be achieved by any married couple. Their relationship obviously gave me a perspective from a non-married, but committed view. In this next part, I wish to discuss the "holy" in holy matrimony. If my parents were holy enough, could they still be married? Should they still be married? To stay true to the title, I will talk about holiness with respect to myself.
"Chris baby, get up. We're gonna go to the 7am service," my grandmother quietly yells to me on an overcast Sunday's dawn.
"Mmmm," I groaned. "Ok, I'm getting up."
It sounds insane, but I am, and was even in my high school years, an early riser, the type that gets up at 6am on a Saturday. Thus, my grandmother and I liked to go to the 7am service, and go out to breakfast afterwards, usually IHOP, Panns, or CoCo's. As mentioned before, my parents were not overly religious, but my grandmother was, and still is, strongly religious. In high school, a time where we all are trying to find our identity, I felt like something was missing. I was convinced it was God. Out of the blue, I called my grandmother one Friday evening.
"Hey grandma."
"Hey sweetie! What is going on?"
"Um, are you going to church on Sunday? I feel I need to get closer to God."
"Yes!" she got very excited. "Yes! You wanna come down and spend the night on Saturday?"
"Sure grandma, that's cool."
My grandmother would come and pick me up on Saturday nights to spend the night with her to make it easier going to church the next morning. This was pretty consistent throughout the late part of high school. However, it ended when I left for Virginia to attend Hampton University, where I went to chapel sometimes. My relationship with "God" and Christianity would take a turn when I got back from Hampton.
While I was in limbo about whether or not to return to Hampton,I did a lot of reading. Among my readings, I came across the "Autobiography of Malcolm X". I read it for general knowledge about the man, but it awakened me. I am not selling bean pies all along Crenshaw Boulevard, and I think bowties should be against the law (no, seriously against the law...like Congress should be meeting about a bill to outlaw these damned things). In fact, I am not a fan, at all, of the Nation of Islam for several reasons I will not discuss here and now. Nonetheless, Malcolm inspired me not to become a Muslim, or seek out the Nation, but rather he inspired me to think. Think about everything, as to seek the truth and not to be afraid of long standing conventional wisdom. His autobiography has hugely shaped me to what I am now.
While a Christian, I always had my doubts about my faith, mostly because it was just that, faith. Faith is not something that is tangible. It is not easy to be a thinker while trying to uphold your faith. One's tendency towards knowledge and truth will always clash with faith. This is what happened to me. If it is all about having faith, why should I even be a Christian in the first place? Why not a Muslim? Mormon? You get the picture. Slowly but surely, I decided to separate myself from the blind faith of Christiandom, and any other faith based institution for that matter. I did not take this as a free ticket to immorality. Neither did consider myself an atheist. I consider myself what scientist Richard Dawkins calls a "Temporary Agnostic in Practice," or "TAP." This means that I am an agnostic (those that do not know the answer to the question of God(s)'s existence and how he/she/they exists) for the time being, until I can have some more answers.
Going back to the subject at hand, my current feelings about the existence of God and the nature of his/her existence has caused me to reevaluate my thoughts about marriage. I use to see it as holy matrimony, which is something that is eternal. Now, I could aptly consider myself a marriage agnostic (or could I? That answer will come later.). Why should I ever get married if I am no longer backed by holy matrimony?
We must look at marriage in two parts, with one part being optional. There is holy matrimony, and, basically, legal matrimony. The latter has to do with all the bureaucracy of marriage or the legal ramifications, such as matters of inheritances of estates, wills, property rights, and, among many other things, the decision whether or not to keep one's spouse on life support. What if one does not want to deal with the tediousness of the legality of marriage? What if one is not backed by holiness? Wherein lies the point of marriage?
To be continued...
Originally written July 17, 2009
"Chris baby, get up. We're gonna go to the 7am service," my grandmother quietly yells to me on an overcast Sunday's dawn.
"Mmmm," I groaned. "Ok, I'm getting up."
It sounds insane, but I am, and was even in my high school years, an early riser, the type that gets up at 6am on a Saturday. Thus, my grandmother and I liked to go to the 7am service, and go out to breakfast afterwards, usually IHOP, Panns, or CoCo's. As mentioned before, my parents were not overly religious, but my grandmother was, and still is, strongly religious. In high school, a time where we all are trying to find our identity, I felt like something was missing. I was convinced it was God. Out of the blue, I called my grandmother one Friday evening.
"Hey grandma."
"Hey sweetie! What is going on?"
"Um, are you going to church on Sunday? I feel I need to get closer to God."
"Yes!" she got very excited. "Yes! You wanna come down and spend the night on Saturday?"
"Sure grandma, that's cool."
My grandmother would come and pick me up on Saturday nights to spend the night with her to make it easier going to church the next morning. This was pretty consistent throughout the late part of high school. However, it ended when I left for Virginia to attend Hampton University, where I went to chapel sometimes. My relationship with "God" and Christianity would take a turn when I got back from Hampton.
While I was in limbo about whether or not to return to Hampton,I did a lot of reading. Among my readings, I came across the "Autobiography of Malcolm X". I read it for general knowledge about the man, but it awakened me. I am not selling bean pies all along Crenshaw Boulevard, and I think bowties should be against the law (no, seriously against the law...like Congress should be meeting about a bill to outlaw these damned things). In fact, I am not a fan, at all, of the Nation of Islam for several reasons I will not discuss here and now. Nonetheless, Malcolm inspired me not to become a Muslim, or seek out the Nation, but rather he inspired me to think. Think about everything, as to seek the truth and not to be afraid of long standing conventional wisdom. His autobiography has hugely shaped me to what I am now.
While a Christian, I always had my doubts about my faith, mostly because it was just that, faith. Faith is not something that is tangible. It is not easy to be a thinker while trying to uphold your faith. One's tendency towards knowledge and truth will always clash with faith. This is what happened to me. If it is all about having faith, why should I even be a Christian in the first place? Why not a Muslim? Mormon? You get the picture. Slowly but surely, I decided to separate myself from the blind faith of Christiandom, and any other faith based institution for that matter. I did not take this as a free ticket to immorality. Neither did consider myself an atheist. I consider myself what scientist Richard Dawkins calls a "Temporary Agnostic in Practice," or "TAP." This means that I am an agnostic (those that do not know the answer to the question of God(s)'s existence and how he/she/they exists) for the time being, until I can have some more answers.
Going back to the subject at hand, my current feelings about the existence of God and the nature of his/her existence has caused me to reevaluate my thoughts about marriage. I use to see it as holy matrimony, which is something that is eternal. Now, I could aptly consider myself a marriage agnostic (or could I? That answer will come later.). Why should I ever get married if I am no longer backed by holy matrimony?
We must look at marriage in two parts, with one part being optional. There is holy matrimony, and, basically, legal matrimony. The latter has to do with all the bureaucracy of marriage or the legal ramifications, such as matters of inheritances of estates, wills, property rights, and, among many other things, the decision whether or not to keep one's spouse on life support. What if one does not want to deal with the tediousness of the legality of marriage? What if one is not backed by holiness? Wherein lies the point of marriage?
To be continued...
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