The Tipping Point
The Facebook Migration Series, Volume XIII
Originally written February 16, 2010
First and foremost, the title of this note should not be confused with the album by The Roots, one of my favorite hip-hop artists. I don't think I have to be worried about someone from their legal team blowing up my phone threatening litigation. It's not like I'm making money off of this, so hopefully nothing comes of it. Also, I'm getting a little ahead of myself by even imagining that anyone from The Roots camp would even know this little novel note even exists. Anyhow, The Tipping Point is about something that affects us all in some kind of way. We have all done it or received it. No, I'm not talking about oral sex, but rather tipping, or as the euphemist would say, gratuity.We all eat out at restaurants, stay in hotels, go to bars, lounges, or clubs, go to barbershops and hair salons, ballgames, et cetera. Tipping is something we do just as naturally as paying for the actual products and services. Before I get into this discussion, let me first give you a story.
It was a couple years ago during summer. I was actually working part-time as a research assistant (among the other two jobs I had at the Fed and tutoring...don't ask how I was able to do it...well you can but I won't give you an answer...but then again I'd probably give you the answer anyway so you can ask if you want) with my former professor/mentor. I forget what we were doing exactly. It could have been looking up literature, helping with the grant, or, as usual by the those not named Christopher, talking about food. The latter is more likely because of what I am about to say.
So as this discussion goes on, I told one of the other assistants, "man, I don't believe in tipping."
"What?" she snared.
Now, I was taken aback by her reaction because the conversation had a light, casual, and humorous tone. I knew she was a waitress/bartender, but I did not think she would actually snare at me. I expected a playful "what," but she was really hurt. I proceeded to explain my reason's for being against tips and gratuity. That only made it worse (note: I will refrain from using my "She's A Woman Card" due to yesterday being National-Do-Something-for-My-Woman-and-Hope-She-Does-Something-for-Me-that- She-Does-Normally,-Thus-I'm-not-Really-Getting-Anything-in-Return-Day).
"You know what," she continued. "I'm not speaking to you."
This was not playful, however. She is a pretty cool Brazilian woman who I had fun working with. She was pretty hilarious. Nonetheless, she really ignored me the rest of the day. Seems she, like many woman, struggle with compartmentalization (perhaps something we can discuss in a future note...maybe...). To balance that last statement, we men can struggle with making the EFFORT to empathize. There ya go.
As mentioned before, my former assistantmate had a dog in the fight, she was an actual waitress/bartender, and this was her primary income to support herself while she studied. I had a dog too, but it was much smaller. I do not eat out much and going out to places in which tips are required (I say required with wit) very often for me to pay as much in tips as many other people. However, it still irritates me on so many levels, none of which is because I am cheap. In fact, I have figured out that I am actually an over-tipper, which is ironic since I am against tipping. At last, I will discuss the issues I have with tipping.
When we go to a "tipping place," we have to remember the very reason why we are there. We are there to receive products and services. I will exclude strip clubs because that is a different ball game and I am probably one of only 11 dudes that has never been to one and don't care to ever go to one. Those products and services have costs. The place providing the products and services pay for the materials to provide to you and I. Because the products they buy have to be processed, in a lot of cases, into what we see in our glass, or on our plate, they are charging us more for the processing it took and the services provided. This also includes entities that involve bellmen, drivers, et cetera. My point is that when we pay, we are paying for the products plus processing plus service. This is the money that is used to keep the place afloat with purchasing more products to process and paying staff among other things.
Then there is a little thing call tips. This is when we pay those that serve us an extra percentage of the total bill for their "gratitude." When I go out to one of these places, I am fine with paying the extra amount because I know I'm not the one that has to do any of the work. If I were to go to Trader Joe's or something, and bring food home, yes it will be cheaper, but I have to do the cooking, preparing, and cleaning. However, after I have paid for the service, they are now telling me that I have to pay an extra 10%. There is where my problem lies. There was a fair barter that occurred. They provided products and services while I paid them at a price that they and I agreed upon. Then later, they are telling me I have to pay another 10% (or more). It has never made much sense to me.
When I bring up my objection to those that work or worked in any kind of tipping occupation, I am met with intense objection to my objection. The first thing people in tipping occupations talk about is the wages. They argue that that they work very hard while their wages are too low. I grew up around family that was mostly part of the proletariat. I am now part of the proletariat for now. I would be one of the first to say that many people out there deserve substantially more than what they are currently earning. Being part of the proletariat my whole life, I am very sensitive and empathetic to anyone in situations in which their wages are not high enough. With that being said, how do people that work at tipping places have this right to being tipped? People that work at tipping places are not the only underpaid people in society, and they are not the only people providing services for others. Being in a capitalistic system, we, for the most part, provide services for others; but somehow only servers, bartenders, drivers (I cannot spell "shofur"...shut up), waiters, et cetera get tips? When we go to get our car serviced, do we go back in the garage and give the mechanics tips? When we go to Barnes and Noble, and that store "wanderer" employee helps you find that book you can't find, only to realize it was "right there" the whole time when you overlooked it, do we give them at tip? When we go to Jack in the Box or something after a late night rendezvous (yeah I can spell that but not "shofur"), do we leave a tip for those in the back that prepare the food? When custodians clean up after us at our place of work or else where to do business, do we seek out a tip jar? Is there even a tip jar to begin with? When we see my personal heroes that work in the late hours of the night fixing our roads so that we can have a safe, smooth commute to work or where ever we have to go, do we slow down to toss them a couple bucks? Hell, one person couldn't even figure out whether or not to tip at Panera Bread (she should have). Everything we use in our lives is the result of some process that involves underpaid workers, and we leave no tip for them.
I do feel for those in tipping professions that maybe underpaid, but I do not see how they get special consideration over people that do far more important jobs. Yes, far more important jobs. If you are in a profession that involves tips, it is not a necessity, it is usually a luxury. Eating out is not necessary. Staying at a hotel mostly means you are on a vacation (though there are some business trips, conferences, et cetera) which is not really needed. Bars and clubs are not necessary for survival either. So, those with tipping jobs should not be looked at as being better than the rest of us proletariat.
I am typically met with a "you don't understand what it's like" response from those with tipping jobs. They are right. I don't understand how tipping jobs are holier than thou. What I do understand is that if they are not content with their wages, they would need to do as the rest of us proletariat do, find another job. In the brevity of my life, I have had two jobs that I was not satisfied with as far as my wages were concerned. Did I get any tips? Nope. I had to update my resume and get my ass out there on the job market. I will admit it takes perseverance and patience, but if you want to be in a better situation, it can be done only if the person has the will to do so. So when I hear people complain about how their tipping job does not earn enough, thus they get an extra handout from me just for doing their job, it angers me to know that I had to work hard and improve my situation while they get tips. When I go to a tipping place, I am already paying for the services. I could go out to a store or something and buy me a nice steak for less than $20, and flame it up at the house. However, if want to enjoy the luxury of having a nice steak dinner provided for me without having to lift a finger, I will go over to Ruth Chris and pay double. The double is the food that being cooked for me and for the service. Again, why am I paying more on top of that?
I would not have as much a problem with this idea of tipping if it were more direct. All these places would have to do is include the service fee within the overall price. The prices should just blend in the overall price rather than giving me the impression that I am paying for the services that is provided and paying an extra 10% (or more since I am an overtipper). I will say that I am all for the charge that restaurants give when you have a party over a certain amount. I understand that that is an extra strain on the place, and resources are going to be compromised. I get it. What I also get is that that extra charge is expressed to me, the consumer, directly, which is fine by me. But when I listen to the cries of the underpaid waiter, it bothers me.
I am not here on a crusade to attack those with tipping jobs. I am here to discuss or perhaps better understand why those in tipping jobs are the only ones worthy of getting tips when there are just as or more deserving people that should be tipped if we are going to give out tips. I can tell you that I will definitely tip at the Cheesecake Factory for their Spicy Cashew Chicken. My goodness that is some good stuff. That deserves a tip. When I go out now, I still tip, and I am very generous with my tips. I do not want to be "that guy" that does not tip and make a scene. I just roll with the flow because being at a tipping place means I'm having fun anyway. After this is said and done, I hope those in tipping jobs will still talk to me.
Originally written February 16, 2010
It was a couple years ago during summer. I was actually working part-time as a research assistant (among the other two jobs I had at the Fed and tutoring...don't ask how I was able to do it...well you can but I won't give you an answer...but then again I'd probably give you the answer anyway so you can ask if you want) with my former professor/mentor. I forget what we were doing exactly. It could have been looking up literature, helping with the grant, or, as usual by the those not named Christopher, talking about food. The latter is more likely because of what I am about to say.
So as this discussion goes on, I told one of the other assistants, "man, I don't believe in tipping."
"What?" she snared.
Now, I was taken aback by her reaction because the conversation had a light, casual, and humorous tone. I knew she was a waitress/bartender, but I did not think she would actually snare at me. I expected a playful "what," but she was really hurt. I proceeded to explain my reason's for being against tips and gratuity. That only made it worse (note: I will refrain from using my "She's A Woman Card" due to yesterday being National-Do-Something-for-My-Woman-and-Hope-She-Does-Something-for-Me-that- She-Does-Normally,-Thus-I'm-not-Really-Getting-Anything-in-Return-Day).
"You know what," she continued. "I'm not speaking to you."
This was not playful, however. She is a pretty cool Brazilian woman who I had fun working with. She was pretty hilarious. Nonetheless, she really ignored me the rest of the day. Seems she, like many woman, struggle with compartmentalization (perhaps something we can discuss in a future note...maybe...). To balance that last statement, we men can struggle with making the EFFORT to empathize. There ya go.
As mentioned before, my former assistantmate had a dog in the fight, she was an actual waitress/bartender, and this was her primary income to support herself while she studied. I had a dog too, but it was much smaller. I do not eat out much and going out to places in which tips are required (I say required with wit) very often for me to pay as much in tips as many other people. However, it still irritates me on so many levels, none of which is because I am cheap. In fact, I have figured out that I am actually an over-tipper, which is ironic since I am against tipping. At last, I will discuss the issues I have with tipping.
When we go to a "tipping place," we have to remember the very reason why we are there. We are there to receive products and services. I will exclude strip clubs because that is a different ball game and I am probably one of only 11 dudes that has never been to one and don't care to ever go to one. Those products and services have costs. The place providing the products and services pay for the materials to provide to you and I. Because the products they buy have to be processed, in a lot of cases, into what we see in our glass, or on our plate, they are charging us more for the processing it took and the services provided. This also includes entities that involve bellmen, drivers, et cetera. My point is that when we pay, we are paying for the products plus processing plus service. This is the money that is used to keep the place afloat with purchasing more products to process and paying staff among other things.
Then there is a little thing call tips. This is when we pay those that serve us an extra percentage of the total bill for their "gratitude." When I go out to one of these places, I am fine with paying the extra amount because I know I'm not the one that has to do any of the work. If I were to go to Trader Joe's or something, and bring food home, yes it will be cheaper, but I have to do the cooking, preparing, and cleaning. However, after I have paid for the service, they are now telling me that I have to pay an extra 10%. There is where my problem lies. There was a fair barter that occurred. They provided products and services while I paid them at a price that they and I agreed upon. Then later, they are telling me I have to pay another 10% (or more). It has never made much sense to me.
When I bring up my objection to those that work or worked in any kind of tipping occupation, I am met with intense objection to my objection. The first thing people in tipping occupations talk about is the wages. They argue that that they work very hard while their wages are too low. I grew up around family that was mostly part of the proletariat. I am now part of the proletariat for now. I would be one of the first to say that many people out there deserve substantially more than what they are currently earning. Being part of the proletariat my whole life, I am very sensitive and empathetic to anyone in situations in which their wages are not high enough. With that being said, how do people that work at tipping places have this right to being tipped? People that work at tipping places are not the only underpaid people in society, and they are not the only people providing services for others. Being in a capitalistic system, we, for the most part, provide services for others; but somehow only servers, bartenders, drivers (I cannot spell "shofur"...shut up), waiters, et cetera get tips? When we go to get our car serviced, do we go back in the garage and give the mechanics tips? When we go to Barnes and Noble, and that store "wanderer" employee helps you find that book you can't find, only to realize it was "right there" the whole time when you overlooked it, do we give them at tip? When we go to Jack in the Box or something after a late night rendezvous (yeah I can spell that but not "shofur"), do we leave a tip for those in the back that prepare the food? When custodians clean up after us at our place of work or else where to do business, do we seek out a tip jar? Is there even a tip jar to begin with? When we see my personal heroes that work in the late hours of the night fixing our roads so that we can have a safe, smooth commute to work or where ever we have to go, do we slow down to toss them a couple bucks? Hell, one person couldn't even figure out whether or not to tip at Panera Bread (she should have). Everything we use in our lives is the result of some process that involves underpaid workers, and we leave no tip for them.
I do feel for those in tipping professions that maybe underpaid, but I do not see how they get special consideration over people that do far more important jobs. Yes, far more important jobs. If you are in a profession that involves tips, it is not a necessity, it is usually a luxury. Eating out is not necessary. Staying at a hotel mostly means you are on a vacation (though there are some business trips, conferences, et cetera) which is not really needed. Bars and clubs are not necessary for survival either. So, those with tipping jobs should not be looked at as being better than the rest of us proletariat.
I am typically met with a "you don't understand what it's like" response from those with tipping jobs. They are right. I don't understand how tipping jobs are holier than thou. What I do understand is that if they are not content with their wages, they would need to do as the rest of us proletariat do, find another job. In the brevity of my life, I have had two jobs that I was not satisfied with as far as my wages were concerned. Did I get any tips? Nope. I had to update my resume and get my ass out there on the job market. I will admit it takes perseverance and patience, but if you want to be in a better situation, it can be done only if the person has the will to do so. So when I hear people complain about how their tipping job does not earn enough, thus they get an extra handout from me just for doing their job, it angers me to know that I had to work hard and improve my situation while they get tips. When I go to a tipping place, I am already paying for the services. I could go out to a store or something and buy me a nice steak for less than $20, and flame it up at the house. However, if want to enjoy the luxury of having a nice steak dinner provided for me without having to lift a finger, I will go over to Ruth Chris and pay double. The double is the food that being cooked for me and for the service. Again, why am I paying more on top of that?
I would not have as much a problem with this idea of tipping if it were more direct. All these places would have to do is include the service fee within the overall price. The prices should just blend in the overall price rather than giving me the impression that I am paying for the services that is provided and paying an extra 10% (or more since I am an overtipper). I will say that I am all for the charge that restaurants give when you have a party over a certain amount. I understand that that is an extra strain on the place, and resources are going to be compromised. I get it. What I also get is that that extra charge is expressed to me, the consumer, directly, which is fine by me. But when I listen to the cries of the underpaid waiter, it bothers me.
I am not here on a crusade to attack those with tipping jobs. I am here to discuss or perhaps better understand why those in tipping jobs are the only ones worthy of getting tips when there are just as or more deserving people that should be tipped if we are going to give out tips. I can tell you that I will definitely tip at the Cheesecake Factory for their Spicy Cashew Chicken. My goodness that is some good stuff. That deserves a tip. When I go out now, I still tip, and I am very generous with my tips. I do not want to be "that guy" that does not tip and make a scene. I just roll with the flow because being at a tipping place means I'm having fun anyway. After this is said and done, I hope those in tipping jobs will still talk to me.
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